First day in Madrid. Feelings? Driving to the airport yesterday morning, I jostled between anxiety and excitement and fear and sadness. Saying goodbye to my best friend and boarding a plane for a new experience made for a bittersweet day. Once on-board, my feelings calmed to resignation and optimism, readying myself for what lay ahead and trying to not think too hard on what lay behind. It was awesome to see the kids so excited for the airplane ride. Take-off was absolutely perfect! I think I captured my eldest's expression of sheer elated joy at the moment the plane lifted off the pavement. Although she's been in the air before, it's been so long that she has no memory of it.
Today, arriving in this foreign land, my feelings were jumbled. We were all exhausted from the long plane trip with little sleep, a bit culture-shocked from this new land, although that didn't come until later in the day, and more of a "what's next" feeling than anything else. We are here and are staying for a while.
It's 9:40 pm and the day is still pretty light. The street has come alive with voices ringing out loudly from every window in the neighboring buildings. Children are playing, friends are greeting each other, neighbors are chatting. My house is quiet. The kids are sleeping, their nanny is processing her own experiences, I am ready to close my eyes. Strange.
I am glad to have made this happen, very lucky to have had all the details worked out with so much family support to lean on. But I miss the man I left. Every day will be filled with new sounds, tastes, smells and sights, filling my thoughts and memories. But each day I will miss the man I love. Ah well. Such is life.
